Diaries : A not so mundane monday

It was a Monday I recall, Yeah! funny isn't it? How I have the most forgetful day of the week, so vividly etched in my memory. But such was the charm of that day, Let's roll back a little towards that day.

~*~

photo from shutterstock.com

      zzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz Buzzed something in my ear, Must have been mommy, I checked the wall clock gloomy eyed, And I got out of the bed bolt upright!

7:30!!

I was 15 mins late into the day. I cursed myself! Then looked at mummy. She returned a grave stare.

‘No point blaming’, I remorsed in my mind.

I rushed through everything, had my breakfast on the go waving a good bye to mother, then suddenly I remembered something; I gathered my phone from the desk quickly coming back in. I looked at the screen, and grunted furthermore looking at my dead cell phone.

I was angry at myself for not putting the phone on charge.

And I let my anger felt as I charged through the gate towards the bus. I quickly got one. But when I checked my watch and did a mental calculation, I was 30 mins. off my usual schedule.

I reached the station, the platform was relatively full near the ladies compartment, I stared and gave a frail smile to a familiar auntie. I swiftly switched my gaze towards the indicator, then at the watch and then into nothing doing my math, I was surely in for a firing from my senior authority. Train was arriving, It was swelled with people commuting to their respective workplaces. I was sure I wouldn't get in, still I tried but in vain nothing flinched among anything or anyone on board.

Suddenly I felt a tap on my head and someone rushing past me. I looked over and found the same aunty getting into the general compartment, I followed without a word.

As I got in, most of them made way for us, letting us in. A gentleman got up and offered aunty a seat. Aunty quickly sat down, another man from the next bench got up. An uncle told me to be seated; I thanked him and sat down keeping the bag on my lap.

As I sat, it was an awkward moment for me. I tried looking into nothing but soon that became very daunting in itself. So I looked out the window for a change, took the phone out from the pocket and tapped it twice or thrice very anxiously. I was almost livid with myself.
What if something important came up this moment? What if I missed some text or two?

More than anything I just wanted myself to be distracted, But alas! it was not to be. Next station came; I looked out. Few more people got in hustling and shouting. All I could hear was the thudding of the bogie as it moved out of the station, now I looked around for a change.

I stared at straight eyed faces, one of them stared back, I looked away. Then I looked on to the other side and then into my dead cell phone again.

Then came the announcement for next station, suddenly everyone was war-like alert, clutching onto their belongings, biting their teeth, and as the train stopped almost all of the herd got down all at once like some mercury slipping along the floor.

Someone at the door shouted, "Khaali hai, Khaali hai, aaraam se bhai" (it's empty, take it easy)

A couple of people stepped in, and behind them a family of three. They sat opposite me; meanwhile I shifted to the window seat. Jubilant! I must say! On a Monday, that too running late, it's a consolation worth welcoming.

Suddenly I could feel a rush of positive energy around, maybe because there was ample oxygen to breathe on for now (*wink wink*). Meanwhile on outside a soaring aero plane captured my imagination. I looked up with a tinkle in my eye; I felt a rush of memories surging in! The giggles of that kid sitting opposite took me to a different track. I recalled how my father used to show them to me like spotting a unicorn on a jungle safari and I would just stare awestruck by its super powers.

I just stared at the silver lining that appeared around those bunny clouds that partially covered the rising sun. Suddenly the thudding bogie had a rhythm to it, and my grievance for my phone's MP3 player seemed hardly significant. Suddenly everything rushing behind had a meaning to it, I could recall silly little details from my times when I took to this world clasping onto papa's little finger with my tiny tiny hands. The distant buildings and little trivia that came along with it like a free tattoo with an alpenlibe or that tiny comb with my favorite Barbie doll. I could recall the horror stories my father used tell about that huge towering building kissing the skies, how it was once home to several ghosts. And I would clutch onto his arm while listening to it. I laughed at the thought of it now. The lady opposite had a smile on her face; I didn't fail to notice that. I smiled back.

For the time being at least I was sailing onto those paper boats, taking a ride on a royal chariot, listening to chimes of lullabies.

Hard to believe it was a Monday, that too a working one, my conscience felt like it was summer time from my primary days.

But, this bliss didn't last long, the announcement for my destination was made, I got up, glanced at the aunty, waved her good bye.

The joy ride, it ended, but I was in no hurry as if I had found my grail, and the quest was complete. The aroma of that morning till date graces me, like nothing ever before, the meager struggle of my smile through that difficult start of the day made me cherish it to the core.

And it was one special day I would say, And It made me believe, there is enough light around for us to shine bright, sunny and happy to the heart.

-V. V. Talavanekar

Vent

                 It's been quite a long time since I landed onto a story, since I came across a pair of eyes captivating enough to be back to my desk, untill that evening.
                 I came across a girl in an otherwise empty place. It must have been some family gathering. Her inattentive look towards everyone gave away that she was there unwillingly, She would have prefered a cafe by the bay, alone and a coffee to gulp and waves of roaring sea to submerge her throbbing heart. But here she was! few tables across me, at this crowded restaurant. I believed her energy was so powerful, so full of love, one could hardly pass by it unnoticed. Strangely though nobody seem to care around her. They were all enjoying their exchanges, nods and smiles of approval.

                 Her eyes glassy but true, almost on the verge of breaking down. Her hands moved swiftly, lacking her usual grace (one could sense she being a lady of thorough manner in the way she conversed); only the most observant could notice the shiver in her movement, the shattering heart that was driving her around driving her anxious and vulnerable, sitting steady at one place among eyes which stayed focused on her.

"GOSHHH!! Look away!"

                 A meagre eye contact made her uneasy, let alone the overcrowded presence who one could relate to on a ration card, but none of them was aware of her story. She felt like being under house arrest.
                 She craved for sweetness, she craved for someone who could start of a conversation of her interest and didn't care for her to hold on to it, she wanted to listen! just listen to her favorite fairies, her favorite stories. But not utter a word, there was nothing there within her to express, nothing that the cheerful surrounding would approve of.
                 She just wanted to be pampered, like a infant, toddling, struggling to get through the doorway, to get back out and feel the sunday morning sunshine, oozing her and comforting such that her dark circled eyes would shed its seasonal wrinkles and beem and blossom with a smile mermaids be envy of!
                 I just sat there, all the while admiring her courage to keep herself together, a slight twitch here and there, grabbing at the arm of her sister maybe till her pain vented, cuddling with the youngest member on the table (still in diapers), making him laugh and hugging him warmly such that the chills be no more, and amidst all this the chitter chatter around her goes on.
                 Just then her phone rang, she looked at it and excused herself out the door. I looked on from the glass door. She walked out, holding the phone to her ears and just when she was sure nobody could see her, She just leaned against the wall, stroked her hair behind the ear, and stared up breathing out all her energy.
                 I stared in the direction of her gaze, there was this restaurant and it had a chimney atop coughing out dense grey smoke. And there was a man standing by the window, with his palm placed flat on the glass. I gazed back at her, she raised her hand shakily, and broke into a torturous smile. And then he blinked in aproval. Then he vanished. And an elderly woman probably her mother, tapped her shoulder. And the chills came back!
                 I looked up again, at the chimney, and the smoke, and wondered one can never predict what must be cooking under that grey formless smokescreen of cloud.

-V. V. Talavanekar

A Selfie

               Today #morning, I took a train from Goregaon for Matunga, and thankfully got a fourth seat, opposite me was a lady siting with her child, (maybe taking her to school). She was checking her workbooks, and pointing out certain mistakes in it! The kid frowned at her mother for scolding her in Public. Then the mother went back to her #cell phone. She was constantly texting and typing on some #Samsung #Grand / #Galaxy / #S4 / #Neo / #Whatever. meanwhile the kid fell asleep.

               The mother patted the kid gently and then snap!!! and #Instantly flashed her phone at her daughter, trying to capture the moment. But 'angle nahi mil raha tha (she couldn't get the angle right).'
               So she outstretched her arm trying for a selfie with her #Daughter in #MumbaiLocal during #RushHours. But after positioning her arm for about 10-12 seconds trying to manouvre the fingers onto shutter button she gave up. Then she took a pause. a brief one.
               Then again tried the same, this time with a dangling tongue and a wierd face to go with. Again she failed to capture that #Cute moment. Aah.. I was almost laughing my stomach off inside of me.. The kid really looked #Adorable but the scene was #Hillarious

               Now the lady looked pissed, maybe she #desperately wanted to share that pic with someone.. (there were lot of unknown numbers on her whatsapp chat :P :P ;) Ohh yeahh I am Quite a guy at eavesdropping ;) )
               Now she sent her #Creative juices free, she came up with a new idea, She held her phone facing herself, clicked the shutter, and quickly turned the phone around, thinking she finally had her #shot. But alas!! the look on her face told it must've been some blurry #photograph of a fellow passenger! She did this 2-3 times again! failed.

               All the time I was wondering, did she eat her front camera? And there it was! she found a way to switch it on! The phone flashed again, but this time with a front cam on (and yeah it was facing her, she wasnt THAT stup.... You know..). But dear lady, maybe she was too #Cool for selfies, she just couldn't manage it. She must've been sweating way more than a usual local commuter. One heck of an exercise!!

               The train crossed Jogeshwari, then Andheri, then Vile Parle, The speaker above cried out "Pudhil station Santa Cruz, Agla Station Santa Cruz, Next station Santa Cruz..."

               And here, the lady was on an improbable mission, moving about herself, shifting and struggling in her place, and waking the kid in the process a couple of times, but tapped her to sleep thinking... "SLEEEP You kiddo, I want my #SELFIE"

               After Vile Parle, most of the people got off, A man sitting beside the lady got off too.

She quickly made use of the space moved back a little, And #CLICK!!!

               Screw the selfie! I will send it anyway!

               Phew! The circus ended finally.

               I was hoping she understood that somethings are out of our reach, Then I gave that lady a second look, and sighed, 'Forget it.. God bless that kid'.

-V. V. Talavanekar

निखारा

काही मनं अकल्पित अशा दुखःचा निखारा जपत असतात, वेळेनुरूप त्यावर राख जमा होते, तोच कोणी नकळत पणे फुंकर मारून जातो वा अशीच एक झुळूक त्यावरून जाते, आणि तो लालेबुंद निखारा उघड्यावर पडतो, बहुतेकांच्या नजरेतून तो निसटतो पण आपल्या नजरेस ते येतं, नि क्षणभरासाठी का होईना पण एक चटका बसतो, वाटतं पुढाकार घ्यावा, मनात शिरकाव करून त्यावर पाणी शिंतडावं, पण आपल्याला ते नाही जमत. तो दाह इतका ज्वलंत असतो कि आपल्याला आवरतं घ्यावंच लागतं. .

कारण तो निखारा विझवायला एकतर मूळतः राख  झालेलं अथवा पाण्या प्रमाणे निर्मळ असं मन असावं लागतं.

-वि. वि. तळवणेकर

Brains

         Aah.. When will they understand we all are just the same, the human beings. Except for our brains.
           Our faces, our arms, our fingerprints, the differences in these are insignificant; what one should really look at, understand and respect is our brain.
           We all are customised in the same manner except for this fragile ball at our temple.
           Our brain is more like a dog. If trained in a right manner over a long period of time it can do what its taught to do, and accomplish what it could not manage at the earlier stage; but there is a limit to it. There are things out of reach of every particular brain. For each and every single brain out there, is a limitation which will mock it like a tail which this dog can never get hold of and keep circling around it's own self.
           It's just wrong when people judge from the outside, because it's something under that skull of yours is what makes it all happen. And not just a third party should look at it that ways, but we ourselves can do great wonders if we manage to have faith in this brain a little and put aside those doubts holding you back.

'Train to gain or else everything will be in vain!'

V. V. Talavanekar 

ठराव

पक्ष्यांचा किलबिलाट केव्हाचाच क्षीण होऊन गेला होता. ती केव्हाची येउन पारापाशी गिरक्या घेत उभी होती. सारखी सारखी मान उंचावून पाहतेय, दूर वर कोणाची चाहूल लागतेय का ते. पण कोणी नाही.

'आपलं ठरलं होतं, सकाळच्या प्रहराला भेटायचं. . . हुह्ह !' ती स्वतःशीच पुटपुटत झाडाची पानं कुस्करून जमिनीवर भिरकावते, व पुन्हा गावाकडे पाहते.

शेवटी घिरट्या घालून घालून दमून खिन्न मनाने पारावर जाउन बसते. आता फक्त रडू फुटायचं राहिलं होतं तेवढंच. तोच कोणीतरी धापा टाकत येत असल्याचा आवाज येतो.
ती आयुष्यभराच्या अपेक्षांचं ओझं घेऊन वळते. पण त्याला रिकामी हाती येताना पाहून अधिकच खिन्न होते.
तो तिच्या समोर येउन उभा राहतो. तिची संपूर्ण काया नजर भरून पाहत राहतो, मग क्षणभर तिचा चेहरा न्याहाळतो. आणि माहित असूनही उगाचच विचारतो,

'काय झालं?'

ती हिरमुसून म्हणते, 'काही नाही.'

तो चटकन परत प्रश्न करतो, 'काही उत्तर नाही मिळालं ना?'

ती हलकंसं वर पाहते पण काही बोलत नाही.

तो तिला खांद्याला धरून खाली बसवत म्हणतो, 'अगं प्रियकर गं मी, मी तेच बोलणार जे तुझ्या काळजात भिनणार'

ती नेहमीसारखा त्याचा बचाव करत तुटक स्वरात म्हणते, 'तसं काही नाहीये.'

तो आपले पाणावलेले डोळे दूर करत म्हणतो, 'तसंच आहे. अगं वेडाबाई जग म्हणजे प्रियकर नव्हे गं. या जगाशी तुझं काही नातं नाहि. त्यांनी कितीही,  कितीही आत्मियतेने आरसा दाखवला तरी तुला माझीच छाया लागणार. का सांगू?'

ती भाबडेपणाने विचारते, 'का ते?'

तो थोडं पोकळ हसतो. तिचा तो मेहंदी न उजळलेला हात अलगद हातात आपल्या घेतो. आणि अलवारपणे गोंजारत म्हणतो,

'कारण इथे निरसन नाही झालं तरी समाधान आहे. . '

ती हसते. पटलं हे. ती पण हळूवार पणे आपली बोटं त्याच्या हातात खिळवत त्याच्या छातीवर डोकं टेकवून त्याला बिलगून बसते. ती त्याच्या छातीचे ठोके ऐकत राहते. तो बोलत राहतो.

". . पण हा गारवा क्षणिक. कालांतराने ऋतूपालट होणार, पानझडी होणार. मग एक बोडकी, रुक्ष सोबत उरणार जिच्या सहवासाने तुझी उन्हाची झळ परतून लावायची क्षमता क्षीण केली असणार. मग हे झाड हि नको व ती झळ हि नको."

ती चिडून पायातली चप्पल पायानेच झटकते. त्याच्या छातीशी बिलगलेली ती, त्वेषाने हातानेच त्याला दूर करू पाहते.

तो हात फ़ैलाउन चकित होऊन तिच्याकडे पाहत राहतो.

दोघांची नजरानजर होते. तिचे डोळे लालेलाल झालेले असतात.

ती लगोलग त्याच्या मिठीत जाते. .

'उह्हू. . . गप्प बस. आपलं ठरलं होतं ना . . '

तो तिचे केस कुरवाळतो, तो परत काहीतरी बोलणार तितक्यात त्याला आधीच तोडत कडाडते, 'काही नको बोलूस तू!'

काही काळ ती तशीच बसून राहते, पूर्णतः त्याच्यात विलीन होत. आणि मग एका झटक्यात त्याला दूर सारत तो अर्धवट लोम्बणारा गजरा, ती भरजरी शालू नेसलेली, हिरवा चुडा घातलेली प्रतिमा एकदाही मागे वळून न पाहता पाठमोरीच निघून जाते. आणि तो मर्त्य अवस्थेत पाहत राहतो. व प्रहर बदलतो.

-वि. वि. तळवणेकर

नुसती कागदावर उतरवली म्हणून. .

कागदावर उतरवली म्हणून काय तिला कविता म्हणायची?

एका मागून एक गिरबटलेलं कडवं,

कडव्याच्या शेवटी पुन्हा तेच धृवपद येतं आडवं,

अस्सल कविता तर आमची आजी विणायची,

मंद ताल देणारं तिचं खुटयावरचं बोट,

अन जात्याबरोबरच भरडणारे तिचे आडवळणी  ओठ,

झाकल्या मुठीने किती छान गुणगुणायचे. .

कुणीतरी कागदावर उतरवली म्हणून काय तिला कविता म्हणायची?

'चिऊ' ला यमक 'काऊ' अन 'राम' ला यमक 'श्याम',

कविता म्हटलं कि असलंच नुसतं जुळवाजुळविचं काम,

काव्य शोधायचं असेल तर त्या कवायतीच्या पटांगणात थांब,

चपळ सर्पा प्रमाणे लांब लचक रांग,

एका ठेक्यात सावधान दुसरया ठेक्यात विश्राम,

कदम ताल करता करता दहिने मूड कर तडख सलाम.

बसल्या बैठकीत कागदावर उतरवली म्हणून काय तिला कविता म्हणायची?

समोर कागद, पेन आणि मनात घुसमट उरायची,

साद ऐकायला कोणी नाही म्हणून भावनांना हि पळवाट करायची,

अरे थोडा मॅड होऊन घराच्या भिंतींबाहेर ये,

झरयापाशी बसून निसर्गाचं पद्य खोलवर घोटून घे,

पाहून ये त्या स्वैर बागडणाऱ्या फुलपाखरांचं हेवन,

आणि प्रवाह विरोधी पोहणाऱ्या माश्या भोवतालचं 'जीवन'

आता तुम्हीच सांगा ना . . नुसती कागदावर उतरवली म्हणून काय तिला कविता म्हणायची?

- वि. वि. तळवणेकर